


Music Television w/ Sadie Killer and the Suspects

by CoreyWW



Category: A Nightmare on Elm Street - All Media Types, Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Acting, B-Movies, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Fire, Gen, Humor, Music, Music Videos - Freeform, Musicians, Nightmares, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15351153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: A series of horror/b-movie inspired skits Sadie Killer and the Suspects use in their music videos (with help from Steven and various other townspeople).Chapter 1: Plan 9 From Outer SpaceChapter 2: Nightmare on Elm StreetNext Time: The Purge





	1. Plans 1 Through 8 Were a Total Failure. This Was the One That Worked!

“Sadie, I finished editing the skit for your music video!” Steven said, bursting into the girl’s room, holding Connie’s laptop.

Sadie, who had just got on her “normal” clothes, turned and grinned.

“That’s great!” Sadie said. “I hope it turned out good.” She chuckled. “That script we wrote was kinda ... cheesy.”

“Noooooo, it was the best,” Steven said. “And wait till you see how it turned out. Jamie did a great job.”

Sadie quirked an eyebrow.

“Jamie? I uh ... I kinda thought with the script we wrote, you were gonna have Sapphire do it. Since ... you know, it’s a ‘prediction of the future.’ And, you know, we called the segment ‘SAPPHIRE PREDICTS.’”

Steven shrugged.

“Eh, Garnet thought his reading was better,” Steven said. He flopped on Sadie bed, holding the computer in his lap. “You wanna watch it?”

“Are you anxious for me to see it?” Sadie smiled.

“Yeeeeeeessssssssss,” Steven said, wiggling the laptop in his hands.

Sadie giggled.

“Alright, alright.” Sadie sat down next to him. “I hope my parts of the script don’t come off as too dorky. It’s even kind of a stretch to say I ‘wrote’ this, the whole thing is a reference--”

“No, it’s great, just watch--”

Steven opened the video and hit play ...

* * *

Text reading “SAPPHIRE PREDICTS” overlaid on screen.

A moment later, the text disappeared and the lights turned on to reveal Jamie, seated at a desk. Jamie was wearing an eyepatch and a curly blue wig.

“Greetings, my friends,” Jamie said dramatically. “We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives ...” Jamie’s eyes darted up as he thought for a moment. “... as opposed to the present for ... some reason, but don’t worry about that.”

Jamie cleared his throat.

“And remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable, the _alt rock_. That is why you are here.”

Jamie straightened in his chair.

“And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimonies of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal!” He slowly raised his voice as the background music stirred. “The incidents, the places-- my friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer! _Let us punish the guilty! Let us reward the innocent!_ ”

Jamie pointed at the screen.

“My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about **Sadie Killer and the Suspects**?!”

Jamie settled back in the chair, then looked off-screen. “Hey, I still get paid for this even though I didn’t actually _predict_ anything, right?”

Immediately after, the video cuts to Sadie and the Cool Kids on stage, playing the song “Grave Robbers from Outer Space.”

* * *

“WASN’T THAT GREAT?!” Steven said.

Sadie chuckled, but turned away, blushing.

“Well, I was right about it being cheesy,” she said. “But in a good way!”

“Yaaaaay! That was so much fun!” Steven leaned over towards Sadie, smiling. “Caaaaaan we do more of these?”

Sadie brushed her hair back.

“Hm ... maybe ...” she said. “I mean I had a few _other_ ideas ...”


	2. Lousy Smarch Weather

“Man, it _sure_ is rough being a janitor after we burnt that musician alive in the furnace as a joke,” Sour Cream said, leaning his mop against the wall. “Think I’ll take a nap in this very boiler room.”

Sour Cream slumped down the floor, resting his head next to the furnace, which had a roaring fire going.

After all, what was the worst that could happen?

He slowly nodded off.

* * *

“ _One ... two ... Sadie’s comin’ for you ..._ ”

Sour Cream opened his eyes. He was still in the boiler room, only now he saw two children in white clothing playing jump rope.

“ _Three ... four ... better lock your door ..._ ” Steven sang.

“ _Five ... six ... grab a crucifix ..._ ” Connie sang with him.

“ _Seven ... ei--_ ”

Sour Cream threw up his hands.

“That’s it, I’m out of here!” he said.

He pushed past the two children, who seemed confused, as if they didn’t know someone could do that.

He shook his head as he walked down the boiler room, which seemed much longer, red-tinted, and evil-looking than he remembered.

“Stupid kids, trying to scare me ...” he mumbled. He stopped and sniffed the air. “... hey, what’s that smell?”

A sound suspiciously like razors slowly scraping against boiler room pipes echoed through the room. It came from behind Sour Cream, but for some reason, he found he couldn’t turn around.

“Smells kinda like ... burnt flesh ...” Sour Cream said.

The opening chords for the song “Never Sleep Again” faded in.

“And ... where’s that music coming from?” Sour Cream said.

He felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around only to see Sadie Killer, with a burnt face, Christmas sweater, and a glove lined with finger razors standing there.

He opened his mouth, but Sadie grabbed him with her unrazored hand.

“Hope you like it,” she said.

Slowly, the boiler room began to fill with flames.

“Because this next track is fire, _bitch_!”

Sour Cream screamed as flames filled the room.

* * *

“Wow, that was great!” Sadie said, as the video ended. “You really did a good job adding in the flames.”

“Well, Jeff was a lot of help with that part,” Steven said, fidgeting as he sat on the edge of Sadie’s bed. “I like it too. Buuuuut--” He glanced at the floor. “I did have a tiiiiny suggestion.”

“Oh, okay. What’s up?”

“Well ...” Steven coughed. “I’m not _toooo_ sure about that last word, you know.”

“ _Ohh_.” Sadie shrugged. “I mean, that’s what Freddy says. That’s like his _thing_. You know, aside from killing people in weird ways like baking them in a pizza or pushing them through TVs or making them watch the reboot. It doesn’t read as Freddy if you have him call someone a ‘cockadoodie brat’ or something ...” Sadie thought for a moment. “Hang on a second.”

Sadie pulled out her phone and pushed the voice memo app.

“Idea for a song: do one about Misery,” she whispered into the phone. “Find a rhyme for ‘cockadoodie.” She stopped the app and put it back in her pocket.

“Those are all good points,” Steven said. “But hear me out. I have an alternate version of the video on here. Here, let me play it.”

Steven moved his mouse on the laptop and opened another file. It skipped to Sadie choking Sour Cream.

 _“This next track is fire, bi--”_ The rest of the line was replaced by a loud kitten meow sound effect.

Steven beamed. “See? Pretty seamless, right?”

“It’s ... slightly less scary.” Sadie chuckled.

Steven blinked.

“Cats can be scary too.” Steven then unconsciously began wiggling his fingers. “You know, sometimes.”

Sadie smiled warmly and ruffled his hair.

“We’ll use that for the TV edit, how about that?” she said.

“ _Yay_!”


End file.
